I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
Randomize
