How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
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