End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
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