I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
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