apparently the secret to your success is patron
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
My plan to masturbate 34 times on my 34th birthday backfired. Do you still have those crutches?
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
