my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
Randomize
