i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
The convent might be a nice break from real life
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
Randomize
