You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
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