these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
Randomize
