After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
