So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
Randomize
