I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
I like my sex mixed with concussions.
I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
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