he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
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