I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
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