Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
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