zippers are such a cool invention
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Randomize
