Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
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