so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
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