Moan for me like Helen Keller
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
This is classic penis vs brain.
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
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