Three words: puerto rican gang bang
There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
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