I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
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