So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
Randomize
