don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
Randomize
