I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
I just woke up covered In blood, I have cuts all over my body, I can't find my clothes from last night, I'm still wasted, i'm pretty sure I have a sprained ankle, and the best part is, I have absolutely no recollection of what led to this. THAT'S why vodka is the greatest drink in the world.
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
you never un-have a 4some
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
Randomize
