the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize
