watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
Randomize