So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
Randomize
