No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
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