I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
Randomize