he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
The air taste purple.
Randomize
