You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
And you know what the worst part is? Because of him I can now relate to a goddamn Taylor Swift song. FUCK. MY. LIFE.
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
Randomize
