I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
wake up i wanna do it froggy style
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
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