Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
I wrote myself a note last night telling me to tell you that you're the best person ever, and asking you not to tell me what I did, I think I'm trusting my drunk judgment on that one.
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
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