Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
Randomize
