I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
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