Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
Randomize
