fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
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