he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
Randomize
