Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
operation have a gay friend backfired
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
Randomize
