We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
Randomize
