Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
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