So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
Randomize
