Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
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