I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
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