I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
Randomize
