so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
Randomize
