We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
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