We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
he just fucked me for my cheese..
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
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