do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
a search helicopter?!
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
The maid moved your bed and found almost 40 used condoms and wrappers. She just looks at me and says "Dave?"
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
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