everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
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