Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
Randomize
