very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
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